at an inappropriate moment
By Chermain Chua, Class 4E2
Teachers were pacing to and fro the aisles, marking on the attendance books. Air conditioners droned on and on monotonously, alleviating the temperature in the school hall. The shuffling of shoes could be heard as some students ambled in casually. A tense atmosphere surrounded the venue as student candidates furiously flipped through their study notes, attempting to cram as much information as possible into their exhausted brains. Hushed whispers enveloped the school hall as apprehension swirled like winter chill throughout my entire body.
The activities eventually came to a complete halt when the ear-piercing school bell chimed cacophonously. Subsequently, the national anthem reverberated patriotically in the school hall as the entire Secondary Three cohort stood at attention. In what seemed like hours, the examination eventually commenced. Test papers rustled in the tense silence of the examination hall as they were distributed to us by our respective teachers.
“You may now begin,” instructed a male teacher, in a hoarse voice.
I could literally feel my heart palpitating wildly as I scribbled down my name, index number and class. Astonishingly, as I tackled the examination questions, I realised they appeared to be rather manageable. Possessing a sanguine and confident disposition, I diligently wrote down the answers to the questions, which were a piece of cake.
In a jiffy, I completed my paper. To ensure I was not being complacent, I scrutinised the paper a couple of times. Unable to detect any form of careless mistakes, I sprawled over my table, with my chin resting on the solid, grey plastic of the vandalised desk and stifled a yawn. Feeling rather bored, I started to scan the surroundings for something interesting so as to pass time and keep myself occupied.
Mr Oliver, who was in charge of monitoring the entire student body in the school hall, caught my attention. He was positioned on a chair on the school stage, which could barely sustain him, for he was horizontally challenged. Its four supporting legs literally looked like it was on the brink of snapping as he fidgeted in his chair restlessly.
As a matter of fact, majority of the students detested Mr Oliver not for his overwhelming size, but for his insensitive and acrimonious personality. Students see him as an unapproachable and temperamental teacher and always made an effort to avoid him at all costs. Unexpectedly, he rose from his seat to inform us about a particular error in the test paper. I took the opportunity to contemplate on his actions as I edited my answers simultaneously. His face was lined with stubbles and his hoarse voice indicated his transition into manhood, yet bore the squeaks of an apprehensive child. He stood there twiddling his thumbs.
“Quite insecure for an adult,” I thought to myself with interest.
Soon, Mr Oliver was done informing the students of the error and plopped down onto his miniature chair with a loud thud. In the process, the button above the zipper of his pants abruptly popped out. Subsequently, the zipper snapped open and I let out a muffled snigger. He gritted his teeth in sheer irritation and swallowed his saliva excessively as he muttered curses under his breath. His chubby cheeks were flushed red with embarrassment as his beady eyes darted around wildly to ensure that nobody was aware of this humiliating plight that befallen upon him. Fortunately for him, everyone, except me, was concentrating on their paper as they have not completed it yet. Unaware that I was observing him, he immediately crouched down and fumbled around for his transparent plastic button. As he bent over, the seams at the back of his pants split wide open, revealing something I could not have anticipated.
By then, I was practically falling off my chair and clutching my stomach as I roared with boisterous laughter. In fact, I was chortling so hard that beads of tears streamed down my cheeks.
“Isn't it rather ridiculous for a matured man to be clad in pink underpants with a barbie doll embroidery on it?” I thought with amusement.
Completely oblivious of the surroundings, I became the cynosure of all eyes as some of the students, realising the situation that Mr Oliver was in, let out a suppressed giggle. Somehow, the rest of the students managed to stifle a hysterical laugh. I supposed they were so stressed out by examinations that they were in no mood to laugh.
The next thing I knew, after the examination, I was summoned by my disappointed form teacher to proceed to the principal's office. Subsequently, I was reprimanded for my inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour during the examination. Furthermore, the principal gave me one last warning to refrain from displaying such an impulsive behaviour or else I would receive a zero for the examination, which would in turn would affect my future examination scores as well. However, all this was water off a duck's back to me. Mr Oliver's expression of absolute horror when something went wrong with his pants, was priceless and worth the seemingly endless lecture given by the principal. It would be my source of endless amusement for numerous months to come.
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